Do you know that one of the most beautiful yet dangerous things in the world is the human brain?! It can justify practically any action, absolutes be damned. And once you realize that, it becomes more fascinating to observe it in action.
So far, my left brain has constructed enough “why”s to keep my life on a specific track. Now my right brain is slowly usurping control with many different justifications, absolutes be damned. As I change the pace of my life now largely ruled by my right brain, my left responds with the thoughts below. Their tango has been a delight to observe!
“There is nothing right in my left brain and nothing left in my right” – from a crazy professor in college. I tend to believe that at the moment and yet I forge on. I live in interesting times!
WHY 1: There’s never a time like the one between different phases of life. School and college. College and work. Work and grad school. Grad school and more work. And now, between work and no-work. As I resign from a job that I’ve loved and hated (potent feelings reserved for closest relationships), I justify that it’s time to party. I’ve been known to do this at every transition zone, but the magnitude of this one terrifies and excites me at the same time.
Random Thought Alert: Change. Sometimes we create it, sometimes we adapt and at other times it is thrust upon us challenging us to exercise choices in response.
WHY 2: Escapist Endeavors
At each of these transition zones, I mostly knew when and where the next step would start. This time, although I know exactly when “no work” starts and I do have a “wedding date”, things are completely unknown after that. The obsessive planner in me is terrified and in denial. She looks for a flight to take her away from her life so far and her life yet to come, albeit for a short time.
WHY 3: JUST!
Yeah. Just. No reason.
As children, my BFF and I sat on a huge glass-top table with a world map underneath it, as I showed off that I knew complicated-sounding geographical names (Azerbaijan, anyone?) while she dissed America in a way only an eight-year-old can. Since then, there has been an image in my head of a little girl trudging across this map, sometimes with a little map of her own and sometimes not. While this is a corny analogy to my life, something in me wants to translate this to “real life” out of curiosity and see how I turn out on the other side. Lost? Found? Educated? Humbled? Stronger? Disillusioned? Depressed? Lonely? Or just plain “been there, done that”? I’m clueless, which fascinates me enough to jump headlong into this. So yeah, JUST.